Three to go down

Once again it is time to pick the three teams I predict will be relegated. Last season I went for Blackpool, Wolves and West Brom scoring just 1 out 3. Hodgson really did fuck up everything last season! Ultimately, West Ham were staggeringly bad while Birmingham's relegation was a huge shock.

For likely strugglers this season, look no further than teams beginning with ‘W’.

I’d love to see Roy Hodgson get the relegation he so richly deserves at West Brom. With signings such as Zoltan Gera (32), Gareth McAuley (31) and Marton Fulop (28), Roy is continuing his policy of signing old, predominantly shit players with no resale value. Typical of the journeyman manager, his signings are intended for short-term impact and show no signs of long term planning – after all, why plan for the long term when you rarely stop at a club for longer than two years?

Roy’s basic football tactics designed to eke out the bare minimum of points required to avoid relegation appear well-suited to West Brom. In another season I’d make them favourites for the drop – especially as they have never survived two successive seasons in the Premiership before – but there are worse-equipped teams in the League this year.

That said, a bad start could leave them fighting an uphill battle and given their first two opponents are Man Utd and Chelsea, their third fixture at home to Stoke will be a “must-win” game. With Norwich (a), Swansea (a), Fulham (h), Sunderland (a) and Wolves (h) next, if West Brom sit in the relegation zone come mid-October, they will be in serious trouble.

Wigan will go down sooner or later. They like to flirt with relegation and will most likely do so again but I’d expect them to stay up this year. They have a bizarre habit of getting hammered by crap teams yet beating or drawing with decent sides. Don’t be surprised if they lose 5-0 to Swansea yet draw with Liverpool.

Wolves are fucking detestable. Epitomised by their shithead manager Mick McCarthy – aka Fergie’s mate – they will mix it up and provide some lousy, ugly, unwatchable football matches in this Premiership season. Sadly, I think their experience of scrapping for survival over the last two seasons gives them an edge over the newly promoted teams.

Aston Villa threatened to relegate themselves under Gerard Houllier last year but Randy Lerner has bizarrely replaced the Frenchman with Alex McLeish – the man who relegated rivals Birmingham against all odds last season. Quite why, nobody knows but with a manager who has been there and done it before and with their new policy of selling their best players, you can’t rule out relegation for Aston Villa. It would, however, be a major shock and I would expect Villa to remain one of the 7 ever-present teams in the Premiership’s history.

Blackburn are in total chaos. Bought by Indian chicken farmers who bizarrely sacked Sam Allardyce only to promote his number two Steve Kean beyond his level of competence, their transfer business so far has only weakened them. I would be stunned if Kean lasted the season in charge. I’d tip them as the established Premiership team most likely to break into the bottom three.

I expect Stoke to be safe this year. Ditto Sunderland and Fulham.

So my three to go down?

Norwich, Swansea and QPR.

I can’t see any of the teams coming up having the quality to stay up. I will also predict that Neil Warnock will be sacked by QPR before the season’s end.