Can we fix it?

It's late October and we have well and truly buggered up our season. We're miles off the pace in the League and realistically need to win our three remaining Champions League games to avoid the humiliation of ending up in the hideously renamed Europa League.

Can we fix it? It's not impossible but we absolutely have to beat the dirty Mancs tomorrow to kick-start our revival. Can we beat Man Ure tomorrow? Of course we can. Do I expect us to? Of course I don't.

All the evidence points to a Man Ure win.

We are in lousy form and there are major question marks over the fitness of three key players. Meanwhile, the Mancs are picking up points without having to do anything to earn them and will go into the match in good form and in full strength. With us having lost twice at home already this season, you can't argue that the game being at Anfield will give us any kind of an advantage and it's also notable that we haven't beaten any decent teams this season and have an extremely leaky defence.

Ryan Babel's winning goal in this fixture last year made him the only Liverpool player to have scored for us in this fixture during Benitez's five year tenure. We have only won this fixture once in the last seven seasons and have lost it five times.

I have seriously contemplated not watching the game as seeing those bastards win at Anfield again and worse, potentially seeing Michael Shithead score against us for them would be just unbearable.

However, sometimes in football the form book can be thrown out of the window and a template can unexpectedly excel. It would be a shock result if we were to win but shock results do happen.

I will be watching - braced for the worst - in the hope that logic is defied as Mascherano bangs in Liverpool's winner while Michael Shithead suffers a richly deserved career-ending injury and Fergie chokes on his fucking gum.

As Kevin Keegan famously said: "I would love it if we beat them!" I would bloody love it.